Melancholy
by Mugen7
Summary: She needed help, She wanted help, She wanted someone, Anyone, To save her from herself, Her despair, Her sorrow . . . Her Melancholy


**Melancholy**

**.**

**.**

**.**

When she thought back on it,

Ever since her first,

She hadn't gone a day, without alcohol.

She couldn't go a day without alcohol.

Barrel after barrel,

Glass after glass,

Bottle after bottle,

_Every, single, day._

She didn't drink on the job though now,

She had restraint.

Now they say you should never use the Lords name in vain . . .

But God, she loved it,

It was her drug,

It was her addiction,

It was her... relief.

**. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

_She was a mess inside,_

_An emotional wreck,_

_Usually she'd drink out of a beer mug,_

_But now,_

_Now she was drinking straight out of a barrel._

_And her seventh one at that._

_. . . . . ._

_Back then she had never considered touching the stuff,_

_In any shape or form._

_She didn't have a problem with it,_

_And she had no ill feelings towards those who'd consume the elixir,_

_But in her mind it just wasn't sanitary._

_Whether it was the finest of wines,_

_To the dullest of beers,_

_She couldn't understand why someone would want to risk hammering themselves into a drunken stupor to the point you'd forget everything that happened._

_. . ._

_You could become so drunk that you could've done something and weren't aware of it._

_You could start stressing, trying to fill in the blanks because you suddenly woke up in someone else's bed._

_Or you think that you did something so heinous that it was only a matter of time before you were found out._

_She didn't want to deal with that._

_. . ._

_Let's not forget the hangovers._

_You don't need to have had a headache to know how troublesome one could be,_

_And how much worse an actual hangover would be compared to it,_

_It was common sense._

_Waking up to excruciating pain,_

_Your head throbbing in agony,_

_And the slightest bit of noise,_

_And strain,_

_Would send you doubling over into further anguish._

_. . ._

_Vomiting_

_Hurling out your insides,_

_Figuratively speaking,_

_Down the drain,_

_The toilet . . ._

_Or just slap dab in the middle of the floor because you didn't make it to either._

_. . ._

_And of course how potentially dangerous it is to your health._

_She knew the list,_

_And although she wasn't a doctor or a specialist,_

_It didn't take a genius to know that if you weren't careful . . ._

_You'd be fucked._

_. . . . . ._

_Now came the eighth barrel._

_It came as a surprise to everyone when she started drinking before the legal age,_

_And that her alcohol consumption gradually grew,_

_But this was too much._

_To say that everyone was shocked was an understatement,_

_No,_

_They were downright flabbergasted._

_Although she drank a lot she was sensible,_

_Weird I know,_

_But now here she was,_

_Loading herself with elixirs,_

_And large amounts of it._

_. . ._

_And why was the girl drinking herself and early grave . . ._

_She was depressed._

**. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

She didn't know what to do anymore . . .

Honestly, she just didn't see the point in continuing.

Sigh

She began doubting herself more and more,

She didn't think she was cut out for this,

No matter how hard she tried,

She just couldn't get anywhere.

God she felt like such a failure.

. . . . . .

She wanted to tell _him_ the truth,

But she couldn't work up the courage to do it.

. . .

Ever since her first trial,

From then onward to this point,

She hadn't made it,

Not once.

. . .

And what made her even _more_ distraught . . .

Is that... is that _they_, had passed before her,

And on their first try,

And at a younger age from what they are now,

They did... what she could not.

. . . . . .

She had the potential they said,

Yeah, a whole lot of good that did.

She would do fine they said,

Oh she did _'fine'_ alright.

She would do it next time for sure they said . . .

Well, sorry to disappoint you all,

But she didn't.

. . .

How much worse could she get.

**. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

_She sat isolated from everyone else,_

_Slumped in depression,_

_Feeling blue,_

_Hearing,_

_Though not wanting to,_

_The sounds of others being lively,_

_Cheery,_

_Happy,_

_And celebrating with food,_

_And drinks all around._

_Oh she needed a drink alright._

_She'd drink her sorrows down as much as she could,_

_Down to the deepest depth of her very soul._

_. . ._

_She watched with apathetic eyes as they all enjoyed themselves,_

_Sending another round of 'congratulations' once again._

_. . ._

_She didn't want to be here . . ._

_She'd settle for anywhere else than here;_

_Down in dumps,_

_The streets,_

_A bar,_

_Her room,_

_Just anywhere, but here._

_But she didn't want to be inconsiderate and be a no show on this special occasion,_

_But that didn't mean she'd had to participate in the festivities._

"_On the first try, man that's impressive"_

"_And so young as well"_

"_They'll go far that's for sure"_

_Could this get any worse?_

_. . ._

"_Hey"_

_Spoke to soon._

_She composed herself then turned to said owner of the voice._

_She was quite out of it, but the first thing noticed when turned to the person was . . ._

_Pink_

'Ugh'

_This was _definitely_, someone who would give her a headache._

"_You okay?"_

_Or so she thought._

"_Yeah, I'm fine. You don't have to worry" she said absentmindedly._

_But he wasn't convinced._

_He pulled out the stool from under the bar counter and sat beside her in silence as their hearing became flooded by the sounds of the hall._

_. . ._

_She took another swig of her beverage till it was finished, and rested the empty glass on the counter._

_. . ._

_He was still here . . ._

_But why?_

_She expected him to be with the rest of them,_

_Enjoying himself,_

_Having a laugh,_

_Get into an argument,_

_Causing a ruckus . . ._

'He has been... different lately...'

_Instead, he chose to sit with her in her brooding._

_He didn't even utter a single word._

_. . . . . ._

_She knew he wanted to say something,_

_Anything to _try_ condole her,_

_To help ease her of her sorrow,_

_But there was nothing,_

_Nothing he could say,_

_Or do,_

_To make her feel better,_

_In her mind,_

_There's nothing you could say,_

_To a loser . . ._

_. . . . . ._

_He placed his hand over hers,_

_The sudden touch was enough to bring her out of her musing._

_. . ._

_It wasn't pity,_

_It wasn't falseness,_

_It was... comfort._

_. . ._

_It didn't do much to ease her troubles,_

_But it was enough,_

_And it felt... nice._

'So much for _"or do"_'

_. . . . . ._

"_You want me to take you home. I know you don't wanna be here" he said._

. . .

"_You trying to get in my pants" she said tersely sending a glare his way._

"_EH! N-No, that isn't..." he stammered in cold sweat as his face paled in fear._

_She laughed at his reaction. She knew it wasn't his intention, he was just being thoughtful._

_Still didn't mean she couldn't toy with him a little._

"_Just kidding" she said._

"_Jeez, so mean" he pouted._

'How cute'_ she mused looking at his expression._

"_Nice to see you smile again" he said giving her a toothy grin._

"_Don't get all mushy now, and help me get outta here" she told him as he helped her stand up._

"_Aye"_

_She did indeed smile at that moment . . ._

_But it wouldn't last._

**. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

She would sink herself lower,

And lower,

In a sea of despair.

. . .

And when she got too deep,

She'd turn to her cure,

Her relief,

And have it pull her from the depths.

. . .

But she knew it was only a matter of time,

Before she sank once more . . .

. . .

She needed help,

She wanted help,

She wanted _someone_,

_Anyone_,

To save her from herself,

Her despair,

Her sorrow

. . .

**Her Melancholy**


End file.
